2nd Annual Oscar Pre-Game Extravaganza

Sure, the economy may be in the shitter, the music industry is all but kaput, and the WGA strike has stripped me of countless hours of quality TV (which is the closest thing in my life to a sense of malaise), but 2008 seems to be shaping up to be a pretty good year. The Patriots lost the Super Bowl. All of the presidential candidates seem to be competent, reasonable people, with the front-runner being a bad-asssss black dude with policies and ideas to match his mad orating skillz. Plus, the list of Academy Awards nominees is (for once) populated almost exclusively by worthy films. I can't guarantee that I can maintain a solid level of humor under these odd circumstances, but at least until that stupid Crash TV show comes out, I'm gonna sit back and enjoy it.

Though it may not seem like it at first glance, 2007 was a remarkably good year for movies, and I'm glad to see the Academy actually celebrating it properly. Of course, it may seem ridiculous to point this out, since the Oscars are all selected by the industry itself, but it's amazing how often they get this shit wrong. I'm especially glad that the Hollywood establishment gave the highest number of nominations to two gruesome ruminations on the difficulty of life in West Texas and the merits of hating humanity. Also, considering that Pixar has put out the animation equivalent of the Sistine Chapel at least half a dozen times, I'm glad to see the Academy give them some love in categories where they can actually compete with the grown-ups.


NOTE: while I have not seen Atonement, I have taken the liberty of assuming that it's exactly like The English Patient in every way, and will treat it as such.


Best Picture

Cynical Prediction: Michael Clayton
Idealistic Prediction: No Country For Old Men

While it's difficult for Hollywood to pass up a chance to pat itself on the back for calling out nonexistent corporations for fictitious scandals, I would hope that they know enough to recognize that No Country is a fucking masterpiece.


Best Director

Cynical Prediction: The Coen Bros for No Country for Old Men
Idealistic Prediction: Julian Schnabel for The Diving Bell and the Butterfly

I guess I'm sort of splitting hairs on this one. No matter who wins, there will be at least two worthy nominees getting screwed. Though the fact that Schnabel could potentially accept the award in his jammies tips the scales towards him in my eyes.


Best Actor

Cynical Prediction: Daniel Day-Lewis for There Will Be Blood
Idealistic Prediction: Daniel Day-Lewis for There Will Be Blood

In any other year, Johnny Depp might have been a shoo-in as Hollywood's most lovably vengeful misanthrope, but this year he should consider himself lucky the Golden Globes don't make musicals compete in the same category as real films.


Best Actress

Cynical Prediction: Julie Christie for Away From Her
Idealistic Prediction: Marion Cotillard for La Vie En Rose

It'll be interesting to see if the Academy can reconcile it's love for musical biopics with its apparent disdain for movies with subtitles.


Best Supporting Actor

Cynical Prediction: Javier Bardem for No Country For Old Men
Idealistic Prediction: Javier Bardem for No Country For Old Men

If I ever get brutally murdered with a cattle bolt, I just hope it's done with the dignity and professionalism of Bardem's character in this film.


Best Supporting Actress

Cynical Prediction: Tilda Swinton for Michael Clayton
Idealistic Prediction: Cate Blanchett for I'm Not There

I'm not sure if you've noticed, but it looks like the Academy has lost it's taste for heroic, likable, or otherwise sympathetic characters, so odds are looking good for Tilda, but as I mentioned earlier, they loves them some musical biopics.


Best Original Screenplay

Cynical Prediction: Juno
Idealistic Prediction: Ratatouille

This seems to be about the only category where the Academy is gonna give any love to quirky indie films, but they may find it a bit obvious to give the same award Little Miss Sunshine won last year to "this year's Little Miss Sunshine!" In any case, Brad Bird is a genius, and I suppose I'm just glad he's getting a nomination.


Best Adapted Screenplay

Cynical Prediction: No Country For Old Men
Idealistic Prediction: There Will Be Blood

The Coen's did a brilliant job adapting what was already a brilliant novel, but I think P.T. Anderson deserves some credit for taking a schlocky muckraking novel and making one of the best art films in recent memory.


Best Cinematography

Cynical Prediction: No Country For Old Men
Idealistic Prediction: There Will Be Blood

A category like this opens it up for a dark horse, like The English Patient or The Diving Bell and he Butterfly, but in all likelihood, it'll probably come down to who the Academy thinks did a better job photographing the Texas (or, in truth, New Mexico and California) desert. And as much as all of those wide shots in No Country make me homesick, the oil-fire scenes in TWBB are just ridiculous.


Best Editing

Cynical Prediction: No Country for Old Men
Idealistic Prediction: There Will Be Blood

Which do I love more, the claustrophobic long takes and surreal montages of TWBB, or the tense pacing and the pensive lack of resolution in No Country. Don't make me choose.


Best Art Direction

Cynical Prediction: The English Patient
Idealistic Prediction: Sweeney Todd

If it comes down to sweeping period drama versus cartoonishly over-the-top violence, you know which one I'm gonna go with.


Best Costume Design

Cynical Prediction: Sweeney Todd
Idealistic Prediction: La Vie En Rose

I'm in a gritty, real mood right now, so I'm gonna go with La Vie En Rose. But that doesn't mean I have any less appreciation for Burton's grim surrealism.


Best Original Score

Cynical Prediction: The English Patient
Idealistic Prediction: Ratatouille

For the record, this award should really go to Jonny Greenwood's unexpectedly brilliant and eclectic score for There Will Be Blood, but due to a technicality in Academy rules exempting scores that include previously written material, these are the choices we're left with. I pretty much want Ratatouille to win as many awards as it can, but I'll probably feel cheated no matter who wins this one.


Best Song

Cynical Prediction: something from Enchanted
Idealistic Prediction: "Falling Slowly" from Once

While I realize that this category is really sort of a relic from the time when Hollywood was pumping out musicals the same way they churn out bad horror films starring washed up ex-teen actors, I don't think that the one musical movie released in a given year should automatically dominate the nominations. I do strangely feel like "Pop Goes My Heart" from Music and Lyrics is an obvious snub in this category, but I can't imagine anyone seriously thinking that any of the songs from the mediocre simulacrum of a Disney soundtrack from Enchanted should trump the well-crafted, earnestly moving Irish folk-pop of Once.


Best Makeup

Cynical Prediction: Pirates of the Caribbean
Idealistic Prediction: La Vie En Rose

As humorous as I find it that Norbit joins Click in that prestigious group of fat-suit comedies that get a token nod in this category, I can't rationalize the fact that horror movie gore-makeup almost always gets shut out. I guess I'd prefer La Vie En Rose to win this, but basically I could care less.


Best Sound

Cynical Prediction: No Country For Old Men
Idealistic Prediction: Ratatouille

I'm not gonna argue that I know the first thing about sound recording, but I won't let get in the way of my overriding bias towards Pixar films.


Best Sound Editing

Cynical Prediction: No Country For Old Men
Idealistic Prediction: Ratatouille

Ditto.


Best Animated Film

Cynical Prediction: Ratatouille
Idealistic Prediction: Ratatouille

You may not have noticed, but I sort of enjoyed this movie.


Best Foreign Language Film

Cynical Prediction: The Counterfeiters
Idealistic Prediction: The Counterfeiters

Considering most of these movies haven't even been given a limited release in the US, I'm not gonna pretend like I know how this one's gonna swing. The Counterfeiters is the only one I've even remotely heard of, and seems like a pretty awesome premise, so I'll go with it.


Best Documentary

Cynical Prediction: No End In Sight
Idealistic Prediction: War Dance

I'm hoping that the Academy is as sick of Iraq/Afghanistan docs as I am, but it seems like redundant political commentary is the bread and butter of this category, so I'm not expecting much.