8:40 - Joke about Christoph Waltz hunting Jews - cut to Ethan Coen
8:42 - Clooney faking (?) being mad about jokes at his expense
8:50 - Christoph Waltz gives surprisingly earnest speech. Mak
9:08 - Crazy Heart Song wins. Is T Bone Burnett high? Where's Woody Harrelson?
9:20 - Hurt Locker writer gives moving speech that makes me feel bad for rooting for Quentin Tarantino.
9:30 - Is any part of Molly Ringwald's face still organic?
9:40 - John Hughes montage showcases many great films, none of which were ever noninated for Academy Awards. Too little too late.
9:45 - Cadre of John Hughes actors reads like a cautionary tale for how not to age gracefully
9:50 - Ben Stiller presents makeup award dressed in Na'Vi makeup. Funniest thing Ben Stiller has done since Zoolander
9:55 - Is it just me or is the queueing off music weirdly sad?
10:00 - Precious writer might be drunk. . . or on ludes. Either way good job getting him off the stage before he falls over.
10:25 - Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner introduce horror montage. Are they aware that Twilight isn't actually a horror film?
10:32 - Hurt Locker winning sound awards is my Oscar pool Waterloo
10:39 - James Taylor sings Beatles song to death montage. RIP John Hughes, David Carradine, Dom Deluis. Wait, what's MJ doing in this thing?
10:49 - Interpretive dance medley includes pop-and-lock routine to atonal Hurt Locker score.
11:06 - The Cove wins best documentary. In case you're curious, the guy accepting this award IS the Indian guy from Short Circuit.
11:32 - The Dude wins. Starting to get the feeling that Jeff Bridges is never actually acting.
11:49 - Sandra Bullock reprises her last night's Razzy award win. Continues to blur line between these two awards.
11:55 - Kathryn Bigelow wins victory for female Hollywood directors everywhere. All three of them.
11:58 - Hurt Locker closes the deal. Now all Avatar has to show for its achievements is its legions of worldwide fans and record-setting grosses.
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